Sept. 6, 1916, Memphis, Tennessee,

the long ancient curve of attentive

Old-World shop service

began to drop at Piggly Wiggly.

With stocked shelves and shopping carts

for roaming the modern shopper’s grocery

department store, Piggly Wiggly

offered new rules of engagement.

By 1935, Porky Pig—sans pants

[plurale tantum]—with a bowtie, a stutter,

a son of a gun/bitch blooper,

and help from Mel Blanc

was out and about and on his way

to uncovered stardom.

Five and a half decades later, ochre

Homer Simpson sits alone on his brown couch

wearing a tight superman undershirt

and tiny briefs (another plurale tantum)

worthy of SpongeBob SquarePants.

His eyes balloon into an opium screen stare.

“Mister, git your skid-marked plurale

tantum off that sofa!” Who knows

what studio news broadcasters wear.

Today, a friend calls to tell me

how in this tedious time of isolation

and distancing, she is going

to have to learn to let her

lycra yoga-latte pants breathe.

Fuck pants! Now, work

and entertainment stream in.

And, for groceries, there is

on-line shopping and delivery