marry a doctor, marry a dentist, cover your head and don’t speak in church, no one ever talks about female masturbation so i assume it’s not a sin, i got my period when i was nine and my mom gave me pads three years later, ciorba (soup), sarmale (cabbage rolls), i never asked why my brother never had to stir the mămăligă over the stove, mănâncă mai mult ești prea slabă (eat more, you’re too skinny), i am ten years old and i watch nickelodeon in secret, nu mai mânca te-ai îngrășat (stop eating you’ve gotten fat), we have a dishwasher but we use it to store pots and pans, spălați-vă pe mâine (wash your hands), my grandma teaches me to cross-stitch using thread she bought before the revolution, no shoes in the house, sheets on a clothesline, everyone wants a mercedes-benz, can girls be good at math, that dress is too short it’s not covering your knees, google search for how to be a good kisser how to orgasm how do you get pregnant, my sister teaches me to wear my skirt low and then hitch it up later, ce vrei să te faci curva (what, do you want to be a slut), we only go to the mall when there’s sales, ștrampi (pantyhose), cudițe (hair-ties), learning to walk in heels at fifteen but not allowed to wear make-up, delete browsing history, i don’t eat smântână (sour cream) anymore, we stop along the side of the freeway to pick blackberries, my mother dries dandelions for tea, ethnicity: white, i talk like an immigrant, my tată says this country is becoming communist, vampire girl, gypsy girl, on july fourth we make mititei (sausages) and gogoși (donuts), no alcohol no piercings 9pm curfew, my sister gets married at 18 years old, i’ve been pronouncing ‘asparagus’ wrong my whole life, my uncle tells me women don’t need to go to college, my mother tells me we don’t believe in climate change, i don’t tell anyone i’m seeing a therapist, salata de vinete (eggplant salad), salată de boeuf (potato salad), all the napkins we have at home are from mcdonald’s, i win a scholarship for writing an essay about how i grew up feeling like a needle in my mother’s sewing kit.