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a literary journal published by the Black Earth Institute dedicated to re-forging the links between art and spirit, earth and society

Kieron Sinnette

I’ll tell Mommy
Don’t you ever bring these types of videos into my house again
What videos?
Don’t play the ass with me
I’m not playing
Next time I’ll tell Mommy
Tell her please
Don’t test me
This is not a test. Just go ahead already
What’s that supposed to mean?
You can’t wait to tell on me
Just don’t bring this nastiness into my house again. You hear?
Or what? You’ll tell Mommy?
You damn right I will
I’m going to sleep
Mommy may have let you get away with everything but I won’t
What did I ever get away with?
Every blasted thing!
That’s news to me
Well this is my house. My rules. I said I don’t want it in here
Yes Mommy Teresa
Stop trying to make a pappy-show out of me
You’re the one eating up yourself like a Sunday after-church meal
Mr. Margaret Thatcher Man is so cool
I’m going to my room
You better if you know what’s good for you
You don’t know shit about what’s good for me
I’m calling her right now
Call her. You flat-ass cow
I’d rather be a flat-ass cow than a panty-man
Thank God! Finally the truth comes out
Don’t put God’s name in your dirty mouth
I’m so happy you know that my mouth is dirty
Your mouth, your mind
Yes flat ass, your brother is one of a kind
Getting on my feet

Lord have mercy
Lord have mercy on me
I just asked Daddy to send me some money
He suspects that something happened between me and Mommy
But I’m too scared to tell him I’m gay
I don’t think I can handle it if he reacted the same way
There’s this boy here at the shelter
He’s never met his father
His mother alone raised him and his four older brothers
I have only one sister
And I was raised by both my mother and father
But somehow the both of us have found ourselves here at Larkin Street Youth
If my mother knew I was homeless
She would kill me
If my father knew I didn’t lose my wallet and wasn’t here in California for just a
He probably wouldn’t send me the money
So I guess Lord what I’m asking for is some privacy
I need some time to get on my feet
As soon as I find a job I’ll leave Larkin Street
Lord have mercy
Lord have mercy on me
I believe you are here with me
But as life goes on, it’s becoming more difficult to simply be
I lay in bed every night
Trying hard to forget everything that happened
I turn my head and gaze out the window
Looking far beyond San Francisco’s bright lights shining below
As I look further, I realize that it’s not what I see
But what I remember that’s steering right back at me
I humbly ask of you my Lord
Please help me forget the discord
Don’t let me lose my faith
It’s the only thing that’s helped me keep a smile on my face
I can’t wait for things to return to the way they were
I’ll find work
My mother will love me again
My father will know the truth and he’ll accept me for who I am
And one day my future boyfriend and I will move back to Trinidad
Letter to myself

We don’t need another hero
Mommy knows what’s best not to know
And she’ll gladly show you where the grass doesn’t grow
The kind of love you forgot you’ve always known
Now you’re trying to grow an Afro
We don’t need to tell on me
I only wanted to eat
To fall asleep so we both could dream
Excita knew from day one who was queen bee
And I don’t think it was sibling rivalry
We didn’t play pat-a-cake with money
Who knows why Ken couldn’t love Barbie?
Your parents aren’t hippies
Sitting there deciding what to do
But construction boots?
And while we’re at it, take the hard hat off too
You’re no fool
You play with me
You stay with we
Monkey see chimpanzee
Put the right cards in
Leave what’s left out
That’s what it’s all about
Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around
Shake but no shout
It’s not guaranteed to get the entire stain out
When it’s all said and done
Mommy will have to come around
And if she doesn’t, your feet are still on the ground
She’s a grown-ass woman
Besides Daddy already set your curfew
Self proclaimed panty-men don’t belong in pews
So before the streetlights come on
Click your heals and reach for more
More than you’ve ever had before
It’s true; waves do crash closer to shore
But only in shallow water
To lose is to be sure
You don’t need to try to be a hero anymore
Kieron Sinnette was born and raised in Trinidad and Tobago. He moved to the United States when he was 16 to attend college in Houston. After moving to San Francisco, he spent several years working in the financial industry. He then took a break from corporate work, spent a year meditating and then living on an intentional community with a guru, after which he moved to Hawaii. He’s now back in San Francisco, where he’s working on completing his first novel.


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