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a literary journal published by the Black Earth Institute dedicated to re-forging the links between art and spirit, earth and society

Rodolfo Avelar


xtravaganza cenotaph

visual poem set in tall skinny columns on a green and yellow background with large abstract text forms

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not enough to count all the jotxs that died for this

No structure imme
nse enough to do t
he job of holding th
e legacy the xtrava
ganzas left for us We
take the challe
nge To heart We gi
ve ourselves a plac
e to mourn Empty
graves are still gra
ves to tend We hav
e no leaders they w
ere all killed We ha
ve exploitative doc
umentaries produc
ed by white women
with something to
prove We have wha
t little a google sea
rch can restore to u
s No way to bring t
hem back We can c
hant and chant We
will will them back
& be here to greet

Paris is burning &
queens are dying st
ill I’m afraid of bei
ng killed If i’m hon
est i’ve been afraid
of being killed ever
since i realized i ha
ve a target on my b
ack Do you see it?

When i was a little
girl i learned to ext
inguish the urge to
say anything out lo
ud for people to he
ar This is wrong thi
s is wrong so wron
g so fucking wrong
i’d yell inside my
girl head for only me

All the jotxs that di
ed for this will nev
er be here to experi
ence it They’re d
ead Were killed Th
ey, honestly, didn’t
even die for this Th
ey just died & now
there is a this they
missed out on All t
he jotxs that died f
or this, i hope they
were able to imagi
ne it And i hope we
have imagined the
m with us as best we
can But who kn
ows They’re dead &
they died Nuestr
xs abuelxs don’t ev
en know our name
s Or that we exist I
imagine one day w
will meet, say mira
……..
lo que nos dejaste fue magia o la sciencia o el poder de los jotxs pero si, aqui estas

puedes
dormír
en paz


what i know so far

the sky broke violent & all jotxs fell to void

…

jotxs were the first beings to wormhole into themselves

…

they torrented tierra & agua cocooned

themselves in the thick mixture to

home themselves guarded

…

the motherland thought it was for the best

…

the jotxs pummeled onto jtxlnd

soil sustaining no injuries just glow

& wandered plains & flitted

through fields & sauntered into real names

…

they said thank you soil thank you creek thank you tree thank you

flower thank you air thank you space thank you jotx thank you jotx

thank you jotx

…

they said thank you jotx nice to meet you jotx do you wanna jump

in a lake with the rest of us jotxs have you ever been fucked

by a lake like a faggot & it’s so blinding beautiful

…

for over a millennia, the jotxs have lived—the motherland tried to kill us

…

all they really want is the option to kill us

…

what i know so far—

i am here &

when i meet another jotx i ask them

would you leave the motherland to burn, if you could?


jotxland

a summer migration a

summer of sun tree woman a

pluming ceremony cuando la mujer

spilled out from me took a deep

breath saw her kaleidoscope self

marbled by the hollering

sun tree creek woman

something about her made me

forget the first time i called myself disgusting

it was a glitter in time & she was there

& my body was weighed down by it all

(it all being something i still haven’t cracked)

she made me think of a land a spec in the sky

somewhere to settle & carve a myth–

could i mythologize the i

materialize me

a girl, maybe |

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Rodolfo Avelar is a poet and visual artist from Fresno, CA. Their poetry projects queer people of color into science fiction, the future, outer space, and queer liberation. They hold a Bachelor of Arts from Fresno State, where they studied English Literature and Creative Writing. Currently, they are an MFA candidate in Poetry at UC Riverside. As a Milkweek summer intern in 2019, they designed and edited book length poetry manuscripts. Their poetry can be found online at the Acentos Review and COUNTERCLOCK, and forthcoming in Até Mais: Until More, an Anthology of Latinx Futurisms, and Pleiades. They hope to publish, edit, and teach poetry, perfect their desk set-up, and play some video games along the way.


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